there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
