Sry I called you an 8
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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