I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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