dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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