Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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