Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
