i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Duck Duck Cougar?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
