Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
