I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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