See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
