this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
