it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
