16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
