I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
