You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she told me i tasted like america
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
