He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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