remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
