dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
