Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
