He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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