i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
