dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
