you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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