it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
