I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
