they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
