Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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