I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
