even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
