Buhtt sex?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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