Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
