The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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