I love black thongs
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
