Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
