I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
