i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
