You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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