Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
