I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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