You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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