how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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