Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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