she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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