i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
