brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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