Sry I called you an 8
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize