we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
