she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
