no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
