I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dignity is for republicans.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
