Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Drake has all the answers
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
