is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
