I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
