If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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