did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
