Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
