she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
