Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
